


Jam-Bomb 2019

by Turbonic



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Creatures & Monsters, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Dorks, F/M, Fire, First Meetings, Fluff, Future Fic, Ghost Steven Universe, Letters, Love Letters, Magic-Users, Mud, Next Generation, Permafusion Stevonnie, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rain, Service Dogs, Sheepdog Jasper AU, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Steven Universe Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Steven Universe is a Dork, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Tutoring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-10-30 23:22:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17837981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Turbonic/pseuds/Turbonic
Summary: A collection of one shots for the Jam-Bomb.February 18th: Rain/Ruin explorationFebruary 19th: Fantasy AU/Superhero AUFebruary 20th: Fusion/childrenFebruary 21th: Evil AU/Monster AUFebruary 22th: Hybrid Connie/Human AUFebruary 23th: Long distance relationship/ProposalFebruary 24th: FREE DAY!





	1. Rain

Connie has never liked rain. It’s wet, cold, and miserable, and it gives everything a dreary vibe. She knows rain is vital, but she wishes it would rain at sometime more… sensible. Later at night, perhaps.

In his opinion on rain, Steven is her polar opposite.

He clutches her hand in his own. In any other scenario, Connie would be ecstatic. In literally any other scenario, for literally any purpose other than dragging her into rain.

“Noooo,” Connie whines as he tugs on her arm (gently, but firm). “Don’t drag me out there!”

“Come on, Connie, it’ll be fun!” Steven chirps. He’s halfway out the door already, and the rain has plastered his mane of unruly curls to his head. Connie logs that into her list of reasons to hate the rain - it ruins one’s hair.

“It won’t be fun, it’ll be wet! And… miserable!” Connie tries to free herself (half-heartedly) from his grasp, but his grip is firm.

His mouth dips into a frown. “You really hate the rain, huh?”

Connie nods frantically.

“How ‘bout we just go for a second, and we can come right back inside if you’re not having fun, okay?”

Connie considers this. It seems fair, so she nods and reluctantly follows him outside.

And she hates it; it’s cold, wet, and miserable, all the things she thought it would be. But when she sees Steven’s blinding smile as he darts around and falls face-first into mud puddles, Connie decides it’s worth it to stay.


	2. Fantasy AU

Steven is in need of magic tutoring. Here is why: yesterday morning, when he attempted to summon a bagel for his breakfast, he set the entire kitchen on fire. If Lapis Lazuli had not entered the house at that exact moment, the Universe residence would have burned to the ground.

And also Steven never got his bagel.

There have been several more incidences similar to this, such as the time he tried to turn a frog invisible and set the frog on fire, the time he tried to create a rainstorm and set the grass on fire, and the time he tried to transform a twig into a pencil and set his teacher’s hair on fire.

That is why Steven needs a tutor.

Today is his first tutoring session, and he is not looking forward to it. Amethyst jokingly told him not to set his tutor on fire and now he’s worried that he will. So… hopefully he won’t do that.

He arrives at the library where his session is to be held and his tutor is already there. The good news is he knows his tutor to be very skilled at magic. The bad news is it’s Connie Maheswaran.

Connie Maheswaran is probably the smartest girl in their grade. She went straight to first grade when she started elementary school. She’s one of Steven’s closest friends (more than a friend flits across his mind before he shuts the thought down). These things aren’t problems.

The problem is that he sort of… tricked Connie into thinking he was great at magic. While trying to impress her. By performing what he called a “fire charm”. (Oh God, he thinks, I do have a crush.)

He decides retreat back outside (he’ll just tell Garnet he got lost or something), but she spots him before he can slink away. Her eyes widen when she sees him. “Steven?” she calls.

He reluctantly approaches. “Hey, Connie,” he mutters, his gaze dropping to the floor.

“I’m tutoring you?” she says.

Steven sighs. “Yeah.”

“I thought you told me you were doing great in magic,” she says. Her nose is wrinkled in confusion.

He remembers telling her that very well. It had been around 3:30 on a Tuesday in September. He and Connie had been on the phone and they had been talking for about 2 minutes. Steven remembers this because he had been trying to extinguish the flames from the tail of his cat, Lion.

“I… IwaslyingIjustwantedtoimpressyouI'msosorry!” he blurts out. At some point he started crying, and he’s not sure when.

Somehow, Connie is able to understand this. “Hey, it’s okay,” she says. “Everyone does that once in a while.” She gives him a small smile, and he smiles back. His tears deteriorate into sniffles.

“So,” she says, “mind showing me your actual magical talent?”

Welp, Steven thinks, might as well get it over with.

Theoretically, it’s a simple spell, one that lights up the end of one’s wand like a flashlight, a spell that every magic user on Earth is able to cast with ease.

Well, every magic user but Steven.

“Lumos,” he murmurs, lifting his wand into the air dramatically.

Nothing happens.

Connie blinks. “Is… is it going t-”

Belatedly, a tiny flicker of fire erupts to life on Steven’s hair.

Connie sighs as Steven frantically pinches out the flames. “We have work to do.”


	3. Fusion/children

The sentence Stevonnie most commonly uses as a parent is “Which one of you did this?” The answer is usually Lisa. Of their quadruplets, Lisa is the most mischievous and immature (sort of like a cross between Amethyst and a younger Steven). Nora is the next worst, solely for her odd habit of writing very naughty Dogcopter fanfiction. Zach and Rose are about equal, both taking after their mother (but Rose is more confident than Connie was at her age and thus more prone to misbehavior).

Today Stevonnie finds themself using their… ‘catchphrase’, in a way, once again as they stare in shock at the flaming ENTIRETY OF THE FREAKING SKY ARENA. HOW DID THEY EVEN MANAGE TO SET SOLID FREAKING ROCK ON FIRE. Stevonnie shouldn’t even be surprised anymore. This has become the norm.

“Which one of you did this?” they mutter.

As expected, all hands point to Lisa.


	4. Monster AU

Connie’s pretty sure that her new place is haunted.

She can’t really explain how she knows. It’s sort of a hunch she has. They’ve been here for about a month now, and every day, without fail, something usual has happened. Rooms are colder than others for no apparent reason, doors have mysteriously opened, things are never where you leave them, and some smaller household chores seem to do themselves. Connie’s parents are skeptics and always find ways to write off her “inane conspiratorial theories”. Still, Connie hasn’t been discouraged. She’s constantly searching for oddities and trying to find ways to communicate with her ghost.

One day, she steps into her room (the door’s open, which it wasn’t before, take that parents!) and sees a pencil floating through the air, writing by itself onto a post-it note. Connie freezes and blinks because HOLY COW THAT IS A FLOATING PENCIL WRITING BY ITSELF, WHAT THE HECK.

After a moment, the pencil sets itself down, and all evidence of the supernatural here vanishes.

Connie approaches the post-it note warily. It’s been stuck on the cover of her favorite book, Unfamiliar Familiar. She gently rips it off and reads it.

_Hii!! I accidentally ripped one of the pages in your book a little bit while I was reading it, so sorry! :( I’ll try to be more careful in the future! You have really good taste in books! Thanks for letting me read them! oh wait, you’re not really letting me, whoops, just let me know if you want me to stop! I can find… something… to do… I guess……….._

(At this point, even though the writing is tiny, the writer has run out of room. Connie flips over the post-it note to read the rest.)

 _Hope you’re having a good day! You’re really cute! :3_ (Connie blushes.)  _ACK WHY DID I WRITE THAT?!?! WHY I AM STILL WRITING THIS INSTEAD OF ERASING THIS?!?! WHY DO YOUR PENCILS NOT HAVE ANY ERASERS?! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH_

(Then, written in tiny print on the bottom:)

_All the best! -Steven ;p_

…So her ghost is a massive dork then. Connie wasn’t expecting that. A massive dork who maybe has a crush on her??

After a moment of standing there in shock, Connie mutters, “It’s okay if you read my books.”

She’s not sure what leads her to this conclusion, but something about the room’s aura seems a little brighter.


	5. Human AU

Connie’s sitting on the beach, minding her own business. Her battered copy of Unfamiliar Familiar lays open on her lap (she’s re-reading it for the fifty-second time). She watches the waves as they bump gently into the shore and then retreat. A light breeze drifts through the air, carrying with it the smell of salt… and wet dog?

Connie’s just absorbed this puzzling piece of information when the canine barrels into her.

The force of the impact knocks the dog back several feet, where it lands on its side. Connie leaps to her feet and backs away, staring at it warily. For several moments, the dog doesn’t move. Then, its tail starts wagging eagerly, and it almost seems to grin at Connie.

The dog is a sheepdog, a bit fluffier than average. Though its eyes are covered by fur, its nose, an odd orange color, is very prominent. It’s wearing an orange bandanna tied around its neck and a blue vest (the leash is still attached).

For several seconds, the two simply stare at each other, the sheepdog’s tail still wagging. Then, it gets to its feet and approaches Connie, more calmly this time. Hesitantly, Connie extends a hand to the creature, and it melts into her touch. Its whole rear is wiggling now, the tail is moving so fiercely.

Their interaction is interrupted by a voice calling from nearby. “Jasper! Come back!”

The dog’s ears perk up, and it turns towards the voice. It gives Connie’s hand one final lick before slowly padding off in the voice’s direction.

A few moments later, a young boy dashes into Connie’s sight. He’s short and a bit chubby, and he’s wearing a pink t-shirt with a star on it (and, Connie’s brain notes without her consent, he’s quite cute. Connie’s next thought is SHUT UP, BRAIN. It obliges).

As soon as he spots the sheepdog, he rushes to it, grabbing its leash firmly. “Bad girl, Jasper!” he scolds, but he clearly doesn’t mean it. His expression is more one of relief than anything. Jasper seems to deflate nonetheless, the wagging of her tail pausing.

For a moment, the boy and his dog simply stare at each other in silence. Then he smiles and murmurs, “Aww, I just can’t stay mad at you.” He pats Jasper’s head, and her tail-wagging begins anew.

The boy glances upwards and finally notices Connie. “Sorry if she disturbed you!” he called. “She’s normally much better behav-” Jasper starts dragging her owner in Connie’s direction. “WHOA! Jasper, quit it!”

The boy’s resistance is futile, and Jasper sits down next to Connie with a smug doggy smile.

“Umm… hi,” the boy says.

“Hi,” Connie mutters.

The tension in the air is so thick you could cut it with a knife.

“…I’m Steven,” he says, extending a hand.

“Connie.” She takes his hand and shakes it.

“I, uh… really am sorry about Jasper. She’s not usually like… this.”

Jasper lets out a tiny woof, as if offended.

“It’s fine,” Connie says. “She was actually pretty well behaved.” Connie extends a hand for Jasper to sniff, and the giant cotton ball of a canine licks it instead. The dog then forces her head underneath Connie’s hand. It’s at that moment that Connie notices the “SERVICE DOG - DO NOT PET” on Jasper’s vest.

Steven follows her eyes. “You can pet her a little if you want,” he says. “She’s not actively doing anything right now.”

“Thanks,” Connie says, and she leans down and scratches Jasper’s head. Jasper’s tail has reached a speed that it could function as an effective weapon.

“If you don’t mind me asking,” says Connie, “what kind of things does she do?”

Jasper begins to lean to the right, panting happily, and eventually falls over on her side. Connie sits down on the sand to reach the sheepdog easier, and Steven sits down too.

“I don’t mind,” he says, scratching behind Jasper’s ears affectionately. “I’ve got PTSD, so she’ll wake me up when I’m having nightmares, ground me if I have an episode, stuff like that.”

“Oh,” Connie says, unsure of how to respond. She eventually settles on “Pretty neat that a dog could learn all that stuff.”

“Yeah, Jasper’s super smart!” Steven chirps. He pats his dog’s head in a proud sort of fashion.

For a moment, the two sit in silence, petting the dog.

“Want to be friends?” Steven says.

Connie doesn’t hesitate for a moment before she responds. “Sure.”

Jasper the matchmaker looks out at the reader and winks (though no one can tell due to her fluff obscuring her eyes). The fourth wall shatters into pieces.


	6. Long distance relationship

Eight months ago, Steven left Earth to become an intergalactic dictator, and ever since then, Lapis Lazuli has acted as a mailman.

Lapis doesn’t really mind. With Steven’s ship gone, there isn’t a way for the other Crystal Gems to reach Homeworld. The only way for them to keep in touch with Steven is through the human system of writing messages on paper. Besides, it gives her an excuse to pop over to Homeworld to visit Steven every once in a while.

Lapis doesn’t snoop in the other’s letters. She’s not that kind of person.

…okay, maybe she snoops a little, but not too much.

Here’s why Lapis was snooping: one of the letters was a lot longer than all the other ones. It was literally around twenty-five pages. All Lapis did was look at the end to see who would ever waste their time writing that much.

Apparently, Connie would. Nerd.

So, when she delivers them to Steven, she asks him about it.

“So,” she says as she hands him the papers, “what kind of things do the others write to you about?”

“They mostly just tell me what’s been going on without me,” he says. “And some other things too, ‘I miss you’ kind of things and stuff.”

“And confessions of undying love?” Lapis remarks, pointing out the twenty-five handwritten pages Connie had sent.

Steven’s face turned completely red. “Laapis, no!”

“Really? Twenty-five pages, Steven.”

He was silent. “Okay, maybe a little bit of that stuff. I-Is it that obvio-”

“YES.”


	7. FREE DAY!

The first thing you say to someone should never, under any circumstances, be “hello”. This is the first and most important rule of life. When greeting someone for the first time, always say something that no one has ever said and that no one will ever say again. If someone’s wrist is inscribed with the word “hello”, it will be so, so much harder for that person to find their soulmate than if someone’s wrist is inscribed with “It is my goal in life to own a farm of flaming snails”.

This is why Steven is putting so much thought into greeting the (cute) girl who’s reading on the beach.

He studies her as he approaches, trying to think of something completely unique. Usually, he wouldn’t be so concerned with this, simply blurting out whatever comes to mind. But this time, he’s second-guessing himself.

“Uh… ‘I once saw a flamingo swallow a rabbit whole’? No, that’s too tame. 'My favorite color in the alphabet is eighteen’? Too generic.”

He pulls down the bracelet covering his mark, glancing at it in an attempt to motivate himself. 'I guess that means you’re out of this world?’ He smiles at the sight of it and covers it once again.

“Uh… maybe something space related? Umm… no, I got nothing. Gosh, why is this so hard? I’m usually really good at coming up with random things.”

The ground starts shaking beneath his feet. Above the girl, the cliff begins to crumble.

As he rushes towards her to push her out of the way, he blurts out the first thing that comes to his mind: “I’m actually half alien-space-rock!”

His gem glows; he’s enveloped in pink light. When the dust settles, he and the girl have been encased in a pink bubble.

The girl stares at him, eyes wide in shock. Then, with a shy smile, she murmurs “I guess that means you’re out of this world?”

HOLY.

CRAP.

HE’S FOUND HIS SOULMATE.

Steven can barely contain a squeal of excitement. He gets to his feet and extends a hand to help her up. “Hi!” he says. “My name is Steven.”

The girl takes his hand and, once she’s gotten to her feet, shakes it. “Connie.”


End file.
